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- BEHAVIOR, Page 91America's New Fad: Fidelity
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- A surprising poll says the sexual revolution is overrated
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- Conventional wisdom in the thirtysomething era declares that
- the American marriage is in serious trouble: a sky-high divorce
- rate, new stresses and tensions in the sex wars and easy
- opportunities for extramarital adventures. Not so, according
- to a new survey conducted by Gallup for Psychology Today and
- two national TV programs, King World's Inside Edition and ABC's
- HOME. Although some experts question its accuracy, the poll
- indicates Americans are surprisingly and happily monogamous.
- In the survey, 90% of husbands and wives said they had never
- been unfaithful to their spouses, and most gave high approval
- ratings to their mates.
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- The poll's findings will appear in Psychology Today's March
- issue, along with an analysis written by the magazine's editor
- in chief, T. George Harris, and the orchestrator of the survey,
- Father Andrew Greeley. Greeley, a professor of sociology at the
- University of Arizona, is probably best known as what Spy
- magazine might call an un-bosomy dirty-book writer; his
- lust-strewn pop novels (The Cardinal Sins; St. Valentine's
- Night) regularly make the best-seller charts. Considering the
- widespread publicity given to marital cheating, Greeley admits
- that the survey results were "something of a surprise."
- "People may talk more than they actually do," says the celibate
- Roman Catholic priest, who plans to expand his research into
- a book tentatively called Faithful Attraction. "Boasting about
- one's sexual achievement is nothing new. Not many people boast
- about being virtuous." Adds Harris: "The secret side of sex is
- faithfulness."
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- Nearly two-thirds of the poll's 657 randomly selected
- respondents, who were queried by telephone shortly before
- Christmas, said they were "very happy" in their marriage. Four
- of five said they would wed the same person again, given the
- chance. Three out of four described their spouses as physically
- attractive. According to the poll, the three key factors in
- making a marriage happy are communication, cooperation in child
- rearing and housework and having a romantic image of one's
- partner. Some 20% or more said they occasionally indulged in
- such erotic activities as taking showers with their spouses,
- making love outdoors and watching X-rated videos together. By
- modest statistical margins, Catholics appear to be more
- sexually adventurous than Protestants.
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- Harris and Greeley argue that the nation may be experiencing
- a negative backlash to the sexual revolution. They note, for
- example, that 51% of women under 35 regretted having had a
- premarital sexual encounter (though only 16% of men felt that
- way). Meanwhile, according to another poll, the percentage of
- Americans who disapproved of extramarital sex rose from 84% in
- 1973 to 91% in 1988.
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- There are some sharp challenges to the poll's roseate view
- of American wedlock. Says June Reinisch, director of the Kinsey
- Institute in Bloomington, Ind.: "We estimate that approximately
- 37% of married men and 29% of married women have at least one
- extramarital affair." A survey conducted by Lillian Rubin, a
- sociologist at Queens College in New York City, shows a 40%
- infidelity rate for spouses. Greeley and Harris have two
- explanations for the disparity between their poll's results and
- the conventional wisdom: 1) most sexual surveys are either
- obsolete or unscientific; 2) people are victims of what the
- authors call "pluralistic ignorance." Translation: erroneous
- beliefs shared by some individuals about other people. Even the
- enchanted spouses in the P.T. poll did not believe their
- commitment to fidelity was widely shared.
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- By John Elson. Reported by Andrea Sachs/New York.
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